I'm a newly married twenty-something living somewhere in New England.
Warnings: All names have been changed to protect the not-quite-innocent, and all work anecdotes are a compilation of past and present and do not represent anyone living or dead. Any resemblance that may exist is strictly coincidental. Re-tighten the screws after a few days. Not safe for children. Beware of dog. Stay out of the water until one hour after eating.